Don't Call Him A Box Thief

A man in Fair Oaks, California was caught on video brazenly walking up to a house and taking a box of booty.

The man was smoking tobacco, covered in Tattoos, and probably came from the nearby community of "Gold River." He walked right up to the door, knocked politely, then took the box and absconded with the loot.

So why are the news outlets calling him a box thief? He has tattoos like a pirate. He smokes tobacco like a pirate. He approaches in a guise of friendliness and then takes what he wants. He's clearly a pirate.

The clincher? The box was full of pirate party favors. Here's the full story: Pirate jacks party favors in Fair Oaks