East Coast Pirate Goings-On

Virginia: a pirate-themed water park opened in Lorton at Pohick Bay Regional Park.

Washington, D.C.: Le Corsaire, a ballet about pirate love and adventure, is being performed by the Bolshoi Ballet at Kennedy Center.

Pirate Festival: Vallejo, CA

Pirate Festival this weekend in Vallejo, CA: "a Renaissance Faire for pirates, a living history with a tent city, a square rigger, cannon battles, sea chanteys, nautical-themed games for kids, wonderful food, beer — free admission!"

See interview with Captain Barossa,a.k.a. Michael Cawelti, theatrical combat expert and star of the festival.

Pirate Festival in California

The Big Bear Pirate Faire is this weekend in Fawnskin, on the north side of Big Bear Lake near San Bernardino, California. They have five entertainment stages, a battle arena, vendors, food, and a kids area. The faire runs today and tomorrow 10 am to 6 pm. www.bigbearcityrenaissancefaire.com/pirate/

Pirate Festival in Virginia

Today, tomorrow and Sunday is the Blackbeard Pirate Festival in Hampton, Virginia. It's a weekend-long dock party featuring many historical reenactors performing skits. There be music, vendors, and actual tall-masted sailing ships engaging in mock sea battles. The event culminates with a reenactment of Blackbeard's last stand and subsequent funeral parade. See www.blackbeardpiratefestival.com for more info.

Bumbo: Better than Grog

Grog has long been thought of as the quintessential pirate drink. Rum, watered down, often with lime added, and sometimes salt, was the drink rationed by the English Royal Navy to its sailors. The lime, of course, is used to prevent scurvy.

But most pirates saw land more often than navy sailors, and Caribbean pirates ate a lot of fresh fruit. Scurvy was not much of an issue of them. So they ditched the lime and added sugar and nutmeg to make it taste yummy.

Today, some bumbo recipes include cinnamon or grenadine.

Here's a simple recipe:

Bumbo
2 shots rum or dark rum
1 oz water
1-2 tsp sugar
dash nutmeg (& cinnamon if desired)

This Day in Pyrate History: Death of Captain Kidd

Captain William Kidd may or may not have been a pirate. He was a privateer for sure, attacking French ships on behalf of England. His trial for piracy and execution were probably more political than anything, and surviving documents that were mysteriously missing at his trial point to his innocence. His career was not very lucrative at any rate, and he was plagued by bad karma. His crew did not respect him.

But according to hearsay, Captain Kidd, upon learning that he was wanted for piracy, buried a substantial amount of treasure somewhere, hoping to use its location as a bargaining chip for his freedom. His gambit failed, and he was hanged on May 23, 1701. Actually he was hanged twice, since on the first attempt the rope broke, which under some jurisdictions would have been considered an "Act of God" proving his innocence.

Captain Kidd spent his career trying to do the right thing, but his bad luck led him to a probably undeserved fate. But thanks to him we have the classic pirate trope of buried treasure.

Pyrate Movie Review: Cutthroat Island

In 1995, Renny Harlin, the creative force behind such masterpieces as Exorcist: The Beginning and The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, decided to write and direct a summer blockbuster about pirates. He wrote a script, and talked a studio into greenlighting his project. Then every leading man he approached passed after reading the script.

So what did he do? He revamped the script to make the love interest the main character.

Geena Davis was Harlin's wife at the time. The studio didn't think she was summer blockbuster leading lady material, but evidently Harlin has hypnotic powers. He cast her in the lead and never looked back.

The result? Cutthroat Island is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the worst film flop of all time. Budgeted at $100 million, the film grossed $10 million domestically.

But it's not a terrible movie. It's just not that interesting. The dialogue is bland and cliche-ridden. The direction is uneven: Harlin couldn't decide if his adventure movie should be campy or straight (best guess: he wanted it straight but his wife could only do campy). The plot is not driving; things happen in sequence, but no tension is established. There is a reason this film has been forgotten.

Although the writing and directing are fairly incompetent, the story itself is okay... since it's basically lifted from Treasure Island.

There are some who say, "if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." So let's take a moment to praise the art director. The costumes, ships, props and locations are all gorgeous. If you have a pirate party, project Cutthroat Island on the wall without the sound and play some music. Actually, play the CD of the film soundtrack, because John Debney's musical score is award-winningly good.

This film gave pirates a bad name in hollywood for ten years, and ended Geena Davis' film career. For some reason, the real perpetrator, Renny Harlin, is still being given work.

Two out of five skulls